Last week we finally found a day after the holiday break...to take our own break. Paul's back was finally feeling good enough to take a ride to see the snow. We went up to Kolob Fingers and it was beautiful and very uncrowded. Then we drove over to Cave Valley and it was beautiful dressed in snow too. And in the last week or so I have also enjoyed walks on the Red Hill while Paul was out of town. So much beauty all around us to enjoy! It felt so good to get out!
I was happy that I could go and be there when Koen got ordained a Teacher! It was nice that Gaige got to stand in on the circle too since he's a Priest. Too bad Paul was out of town still working on Jay and Brynn's fireplace, but it couldn't be helped. Koen is growing up into such an amazing, nice and handsome young man. Times are hard for him and the other kids right now with their mom and dad's divorce in the works. I hope Koen and all of the kids can stay strong amid the many struggles that this is bringing to all of them. I'm pretty sure Zade and Noah will be getting ordained too, but I didn't hear about it.
My Christmas holiday and New Year's Eve/Day and day have been very different this year. Paul and Bean left before I got out of school for Christmas break to go up and build Jay and Brynn's fireplace in their new house in West Jordan. They came home on Tuesday and were here for our family Christmas "Adam" party on Wednesday and for Christmas and some doctor appointments that Paul had and then went back up on Wednesday, the 28th and took Brady with them. Today - New Year's Day - they finished and will clean up on Monday and come home to stay...thank goodness!
New Year's Eve Anna Lou fell down coming back to her house from getting the mail. She fell on her face on the cement sidewalk on her porch and really got a banged up face. But, thankfully, she was able to make it into the house, call Ferf and Ferf called me. We decided she needed to go in and I took her to the ER where we waited and waited and then she got seen, got a CAT scan and thank goodness had no broken bones. They gave her a pain pill, she barfed and I cleaned up what we couldn't catch in a paper cup that was handy. They kind of just left her to me to take care of since they were really busy. But eventually she got to go home. Then she realized that she had hurt her hand/wrist in the fall, but was too tired and groggy to go back. So today I took her and spent the whole afternoon in the ER and again, thankfully, nothing was broken. They took much better care of her today. Not so busy I guess. So, this morning I got all the bills for the business and home paid along with some other chores. And this afternoon I was at the ER. I'm glad I could help and I think maybe now she will consent to get a rescue alert device and maybe even wear it so if she falls again, she will have something that will get help for her if she can't make her way to a phone.
It has been a hard few months with Paul having some severe back pain - so severe he could barely stand to ride in the car, sit down, do much of anything. After going through a long process he has been able to get some treatments in his back - nerve ablation - they basically kill the nerves that are causing the pain, and that has been a huge help. I thought he was going to be laid up forever. Of course the arthritis is still there destroying his back, but down the road he will have to get surgery to "fix" thatand his foot. For now though, he is nearly pain free.
Christmas is always a hard time for me. I basically have to do it all. Paul earns the money, I spend it trying to do what mom's do - please everyone - on a budget. That is a lot of people to try to please in this family. In the middle of that I was finishing up my last 2 chemo treatments which happened to be a week before Thanksgiving and a week before Christmas. So I wasn't feeling my best self for either holiday, but at least I had a little recovery time during that week. And in the middle of that they decided they would call me to be a Gospel Doctrine teacher. That, to me, is a nightmare calling. I have done so many callings that no one else wanted...Cub Scouts for years! I loved serving in the YSA. But I had to have a subs 3 times while I was recovering from Chemo for the Gospel Doctrine thing. I only taught once and it actually went well, but the next time when I could have taught I was having a terrible time after chemo since I had chemo and a terrible cold that I picked up at school. I was trying so hard to study, but just couldn't concentrate at all. I just couldn't get it to come together and got more and more stressed. And I just couldn't get away from it. Anytime I tried to relax I'd feel like I couldn't because I didn't have that lesson ready. I just couldn't handle the stress/anxiety anymore so I asked to be released. I feel bad that I "failed" to have enough faith to do the job I guess. The bishop said it was not a problem since they knew when they called me it may not be a good thing because of my chemo. I have wrestled with the guilt I feel because I also feel great relief not to be doing it. The new lesson format is basically not a lesson format...just have people discuss what they learned studying at home. I am NOT comfortable up front in the first place and even more NOT comfortable in such an open/not under control fashion. I just don't have that kind of think on your feet confidence. So, if I'm bad because I asked to be released, so be it. I just knew I couldn't go on living with all of that stress and anxiety and no relaxation at all in my life. Just way too many things with Paul's bad health, Bean always there with his struggles, Ferf in the middle of a nasty divorce and me still trying to work and do chemo and Anna Lou and all of her needs are big issue too. (She was so nasty to us about Thanksgiving this year.) I still don't know if the chemo has put the cancer into remission, or if I'm still going to have to have more treatments (maintenance). I have done pretty well with them compared to a lot of people I read about on the FB page for Folicular Lymphoma that I belong to, but it still hasn't been easy and I have felt it more as it has built up. I'm having mouth trouble now even after the last treatment. And the bowel trouble has been a huge issue. I am really not a fan of the idea of more chemo at this point and hope it won't be necessary. So enough. It has been a hard year, but also a blessed year too. That's how it is, isn't it. Life - the best of times, the worst of times. I like this quote that Pres. Hinckley shared: “Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride”. I am thankful for this past year...with all of it's good and joyful things and for help getting through the hard stuff too.
We usually take our walks every morning. We get up, almost rain or shine, dark or light, and take a 2-mile walk through the neighborhood. It's a good walk with a steep hill at the end to make us breathe. But this last week when we haven't been on such a tight work schedule, we have sometimes put off the walk until later in the day when the sun has come out after some rainy weather. And sometimes, we have done both walks. Supe and Beacher invited us on a little hike the other day during the Christmas break. It was so nice! It was just a little random trail/and not trail in the Red Cliffs Reserve area north of town. Jem likes to get out of the pack after a while and climb around a little!
Our Christmas fun this year started with a little family gathering for a fingerfood dinner and games hosted by Moss and Christie on Christmas Adam. Unfortunately, I didn't take any pics of this event. I was too busy enjoying myself. We ate yummy food and then played Hellsapoppin' and another fun game. The kids pretty much played upstairs and and adults hung out down stairs after the food part. We missed Jay and Brynn, and the Weavers and the Randalls were not able to attend with so many things going on this time of year and because the don't live as close and easy to come. But it was fun with who was there. Supe took one picture of me and dad looking tired with Jem. Paul and Bean had just gotten back home from working long hours on Jay and Brynn's fireplace in their new house up north. I was still recovering from my last chemo gig.
We had Christmas Eve dinner with Anna Lou, Bean, Ferf (Ryan had the kids), and Bean. Afterwards we went light looking a little differently. We just went down to the Town Square and walked around in the beautiful lights they put up there. That was about all Anna Lou could handle. Afterwards we came home and tried to find room for our gingerbread dessert. It was a nice evening.
For Christmas Day we had Anna Lou and Bean over for breakfast, opened our gifts here, and then went visiting the rest of the family at their houses. It's a great tradition! We did get to talk to Jay and Brynn on the phone while we were here at the house. The kids got us an awesome gift this year - a hot air balloon ride! (Ellie painted a little painting to show us what we were getting!)
We started at Supe and Beacher's. It was fun to see Jem enjoying Christmas and his parents enjoying him enjoying it - the first year he could really get into it! We got him the craziest singing, ear waving dog toy and it was hilarious watching him figure it out. He's got it down now and knows how to turn it on and off and change to a new song. (By the way, all of the grand puppies got dog cookies for Christmas. Next year I need to remember Molly, the grand cat!)
Last of all, and as per tradition, we then drove up to the Randall's to finish off Christmas Day! They are so nice to let us drop in and eat and party with them. Ferf, Brynnli and Tavin joined us there too. We ate lots of yummy things and then the Randall's opened gifts. One special gift was the flute that Lou and Weed both used when they were in band at school. Weed had it last and Lou had been hoping to get it back, but it had been stored away in a bin and Derek hadn't found it...until just recently. He sent it with us for Lou and she could still play it after all of these years! A little gift from Weed to her. After that we played a very noisy game of Pit and visited some. Then it was time to head down the hill and call it Christmas because it was going to start snowing.
It was a really wonderful day. After all the stress that we moms and grandmas feel in the getting ready for it, I am happy to say I feel good about it. And now can relax and enjoy the afterglow of another wonderful Christmas celebrated!
Bean was looking through old pictures the other day and found this picture of Jesus that Weed had drawn. "God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son." Because of that gift we will be with our sweet Weed again!
Merry Christmas 2021!
December 17th, 2021 - The amazing chemo nurses sent me off with the bell ringing ceremony today! At school the kindergartners ring the "wig" bell for reaching" their wildly important goals." In a month I will find out if I've reached my "wig" if I come out with a clear scan or in cancer lingo a NED (no evidence of disease) and hopefully a good long remission! Glad to have the chemo step behind me! Thanks for all your prayers. I have felt them.
It was a small celebration with those who could be there for cake - Ferf, Koen, Torin Gaige and Me. Other celebrating happened at the house in the morning. Gaige is a pretty amazing guy! He's smart, super athletic and has such a cute personality to with along with his good looks. He was so pleased to have gotten his license at last...now if they could only find the keys to the Jetta - oops! Kennis has misplaced both sets for now. We just sang and ate cake together. Still getting used to not doing this with the Borrowman grandparents. I do miss them. But we will have to go with it and move forward. A girl dropped by a present for him while we were there. And he was looking forward to a church group date that his YW/YM groups were planning - $10 for food to make a meal and gather back together to eat the results! Sounds like a fun way to start the dating debut!
Thursday, December 9th, there was a big gathering of Lillywhites and Borrowmans as the St. George Airport so meet Tavin. He came in about 5:30 pm. There were many hugs given. It was hard to take any pictures because of the crush! But he's here at last. It's been a very different mission with the Covid pandemic interruptions that first brought him home from the Philippines where he was originally called to serve. Then we was at home for a while until they deemed it safe to go back out and he went to Tacoma Washington with the possibility that he might be able to go back to the Philippines. That possibility never materialized, so he seemed happy to just be able to finish up in Washington. We didn't hear much from him as he mostly just called home and didn't write. So, we don't know too much about how it was for him. A sad aside is that while he was out his mom and dad decided to divorce (after several year of counseling and near divorce situations). They are struggling through the final processes and it makes things quite stressful between the two families. It's not a great thing to come home to I'm sure. He seems ready to leave the area and get away to school in Provo probably. But, it will be nice to have him in town for a little while at least. Today, December 12th, he gave his talk in sacrament meeting - it was very nice. Afterwards we had a Lillywhite family lunch at Ferf's house. We missed having the Weavers, Derek and kids and Jay and Brynn. Reasons that couldn't be helped kept them away. We are so happy Tavin served well and faithfully despite the crazy interruptions and changes from Covid. Well done Tavin!
All Paul wanted for his bday was a trip…to get a load of stone in AZ! We had fun eating out with our favorite breakfast at Cracker Barrel and Navajo Tacos at the Cameron Trading Post for lunch. And seeing the lights in Flagstaff on our evening walk! And we got our load of rock of course. And back at home the kids brought gifts and we all ate Paul’s favorite cheesecake! Oh how I love this wonderful, loving, hardworking, forgiving, sharing, kind, funny, helpful man. He is always there for me. He's my best friend and the love of my life. He's with me in good times and and in hard times.
