A few months ago, well right at the end of the year, Paul and I were called to serve in the mid-single adult ward. He was called as the first counselor in the bishopric. I had just barely been called to serve in the Primary Presidency in our home ward and had to be released to go with Paul in the new calling he was getting. I had no calling, but was supposed to go and "love everyone and be supportive" to Paul. I was having a hard time with it. It is a huge ward because many non-ward members attend "when they can". Trying the learn names, especially when the are not even in the ward and on the tools app, looked very daunting. I was so good at names in the YSA ward we served in a few years ago. I felt so useful there helping Paul as the "ward clerkette". In this ward, without any official calling, I was just feeling useless, lost and, frankly, forgotten by the Lord. Didn't He need me anywhere? Was I just an appendage for Paul? Actually, I do have to say that I hadn't been that excited to serve in the Primary Presidency. I worked hard for the short time I was there and felt like I did some things that were helpful, but I had been hoping they'd just leave me in Sunbeams. So, really, getting released didn't make me feel too bad, and maybe just a bit guilty for not being that sad about it. But, then to be just a no-calling at all person didn't feel very good either. It's been a wait and see and hope it gets better thing for me. Finally after all my whining they did give me a calling to help on the Linger Longer Committee. I'm trying to be helpful there and I am happy to have the calling. And in the meantime, I'm coming to love the people in this ward...just what everyone kept telling me I should and would do. I'm starting to get some names down, I'm loving the amazing sacrament meetings (so quiet), I'm getting to know people and who they are and what they do and how nice and how faithful they are (in difficult, not what they planned for their life circumstances), I'm having fun attending their activities, and love the Sunday School and Relief Society lessons by amazing teachers. I even went to their New Year's Dance and danced a little bit. They are faithful and talented and amazing and wonderful people. They don't need us to do everything for them like the younger YSA people did. They are professionals in their work and take care of their callings and assignments without much help from us. We just sit back and they take care of things. Ferf even attends some weeks when Ryan has the kids. So, yes, people were right, and the Lord wants Paul here, and me too, for whatever reason, and it feels like it did in YSA - like a little bit of a mission call that we can do here at home with still having Anna Lou and Bean in the mix of our life and care so we can't leave to serve an official mission somewhere else or really even here locally. Another lesson to me on trusting that Heavenly Father is in charge and knows what I need to be doing right now. Thank you!
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