You've had a birthday...shout hooray! Kaebri #14, Trigg #4 and Essie #2

We didn't get to attend this cute girl's party unfortunately.  We have to do better on making it up there for these special days.  We love you Essie.

Kaebri and Trigg had a duet birthday party!  Another reason for a fun family get together!

Lenae's Life Sketch/Eulogy by Julene Lillywhite Weaver

To begin I just want to clear one thing up so that no one here is thinking, “who on earth are these crazy people talking about?” To her family and a few random friends, Lenae was always known as neither “Weed” which seems like an ill-fitting name because she was neither scraggly nor unwanted nor a pothead. Every kid in our family has a nickname and our given names were only used if we were in big trouble. Here, in our older brother’s words is how Lenae became Weed:

“On my grandpa’s farm, there used to be large patches of a weed called common mallow. You’ve probably seen it growing in your lawn or garden and cursed it. But as kids, we loved it. Just before the seed pods ripen, they turn into sweet little round green buttons. We used to sit in the weed patches and eat as many as we could find. We didn’t know that the weeds were called mallow. To us, they were “goody weeds.” My little sister was sweetest of all of us, so one day Grandpa started calling her his little goody weed. The nickname stuck, and over time it changed to Weed. One thing that didn’t change, though, was the fact that Weed was one of the sweetest, kindest people you will ever meet.

Weed is the daughter of Paul and Bonnie Lillywhite and number 4 in our family of 8 kids. The oldest was our sister, Lou, then came our brother, Jay, then our sister, Ferf, then Weed, then yet another girl—me, Juge, and finally our three “little” brothers, Moss, Supe and Bean. We moved from Farmington, New Mexico to St. George when Weed was six.

Weed was just 18 months older than me and we shared a pretty idyllic childhood.

We shared so much fun together and with our other siblings, cousins and friends: playing with babies, Barbies and paper dolls, raising kittens, making yarn dolls, wearing dress-ups made by mom, playing bury-in-the-blanket, setting butterfly traps (which were always unsuccessful), hiding in forts under our grapevines, running barefoot all summer—every summer, swinging on rope swings made in our trees by Dad, swimming at Green Valley, making endless buckets of mud to play in, and sliding on bags down the moss-covered gutters on Main Street hill.

The summer before Weed was in 4th grade our family moved to Pennsylvania for a year.   It was a bit like a year-long vacation for us kids. There we all loved playing in our stream, perfected our cherry drops and other tricks on the branches of our climbing trees (Weed was always braver and better at them than any of us). We caught lighting bugs and played kick-the-can, king of the rock, and Annie I over.

We moved back to sunny St. George the next summer.  I was reading through my journal the other night from that year, when Weed was 11 ½ and I had just turned 10. I wrote, “last night I peed the bed.” Poor Weed. She and I shared a queen size bed at the time. I totally remember I hadn’t done that in ages and was shocked. It wasn’t too long ago that Weed and I were reminiscing about this ill-fated event. I said, “Remember when I convinced you to help me put clean sheets on the bed and hide the wet ones in our closet thinking we could sneak them into the washer on wash day without Mom finding out?” As we laughed about it and how mom was not pleased finding wet sheets in our closet, Weed said something like, “I can’t believe I wet the bed when I was that old!” In her memory she was the wet bandit. I laughed so hard and reminded her it was actually me who did the wetting. She was just so nice she’d pretty much take the blame anytime there was a question as to who was in the wrong.

During that time period we were busy playing spies, runaways, drug dealers (that one was clearly my idea) and Indians (usually subsisting on a diet of goody weeds through our adventures). We played horses, skated, rode bikes, played basketball and jump rope, and all slept out in the backyard. Weed had started drawing horses, and after perfecting that, moved on to drawing people. I’m sure you’ve seen just how good she got at that. We loved trips to the beach and Disneyland, Washington DC, Mount Rushmore, Colorado and lots of fun around Southern Utah camping, hiking and picnicking as a family.

She had fun in middle school and high school, where she made an amazing group of friends who are fun and kind women like her. She did awesome academically, played sports, rocked it in her art classes and got chased by lots of guys. Once in a while, when she’d had enough of hearing from one of the guys on the phone, she’d pass it to me and I’d keep talking as if I were her and no one was the wiser. We’d just cover the mouthpiece while we busted up. Don’t worry Derek, that never happened with you.

Weed has always had an amazing smile, laugh, and sense of humor! One of our cousins wrote, “I remember as a kid thinking, ‘how could someone who is so very pretty be so goofy?!’” She is fun and funny. Ask anyone who went to girls’ camp with her. She was just so pretty and then out of her would come these thunderous burps that would put any guy’s attempt to shame. She had a deal with a friend that if she could go two weeks without these belches he’d take us both out to dinner. I got a filet minion out of Weed’s hilarious talent/habit. One day after one of our mom’s delicious dinners Weed stood up, rubbed her tummy, and announced accidentally, “I’m as full as a fool can get!” She was miffed when we all busted up laughing, protesting that that was not what she had meant to say. We all thought it was so cute and funny that it became an often-used statement in our family and Weed laughed right along with us. She made us laugh with her funny remakes of song lyrics, with her crazy faces, and just with her infections laugh. She laughed when you laughed and made everything more fun.

I think our childhood prepared Weed to be an amazing wife and mother. She married Derek when she was 19 in the St. George Temple.   Together they have lived in St. George, Provo, Tooele and St. George again. A friend wrote in a letter “Derek gave a talk in church once and referred to Lenae as his angel wife.” I love that he called her that. Lenae loved spending time with him, helping him in any way she could and is so proud of his many talents and accomplishments.

Derek and Weed have four amazing kids, Kaebri, Tasia, Zade, and Trigg. They are each so unique and special. It took seven pregnancies, each one extremely difficult, to bring their kids-here-on-earth into their family. I think Weed loved making sacrifices for her kids because she loved them so much. She spent hours and hours (mostly the wee hours of the night) sewing elaborate Halloween costumes of the kids’ choosing. She made them all without patterns, just using her creativity and sweet skills to create masterpieces. She made every holiday fun and special for her family.   She loved spending time with her kids. When we talked on the phone she’d be giggling as she jumped on the tramp with Trigg and I always knew that as soon as her kids or Derek got home from school it was time to hang up because she wanted to hear all about their days.   She may have yelled about Saturday’s work now and then, but mostly because she just wanted to get it done so they could get out and do something fun together. Weed loved taking the kids to the park or hiking or to roll around in the mud at the river. Weed was the mom and aunt who always made all the kids laugh with her tickles and silly teases—teases that made kids feel loved and special and got them giggling like crazy.

Weed may have been pretty, but she was not prissy (except maybe where spiders were concerned).   She was a hard worker, tackling every sort of job around her house from building rock columns, including lugging around 80 pound sacks of cement, to moving tons of dirt to get the yard ready for grass. Her purse, usually a pretty tiny one, was packed with anything you could need from lip-gloss to a knife, screwdriver or firearm. She was bold in standing up for things she believed in strongly.

Weed had some pretty tough times with hospital stays for herself and several of her kids, crazy hard pregnancies, three devastating miscarriages, and some pretty severe hearing loss (which no one realized existed until Derek figured it out shortly after they were married). It was tough for her to go through surgeries and try to deal with hearing aids and to have decreasing ability to hear her kids’ sweet voices. She had struggles that she didn’t really talk about because she’d never want to burden others and was a very private person.

I think because of those hard times and because of the very nature of her soul, she was able to live the essence of the scriptures in Mosiah 18 that tell us that we need to be: “willing to bear one another’s burdens, mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”

Many people have expressed how much they appreciated her ability to empathize. In each place she and Derek lived she made friends who she was able to comfort and mourn with during their hard times. She was very Christ-like in her ability to do that and I feel like in so doing she completed the rest of that scripture: “to stand as witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life.”

Weed’s empathy extended beyond mourning and comforting others. I think that scripture should also include “rejoice with those that rejoice” which is sometimes the hardest to do of them all. Probably my very favorite thing about Weed was her ability to do that. Anytime I told her about something happy or exciting in my life she was even happier about it than I was. I know she was like that with everyone around her. She truly found joy in others’ happiness. Derek found a sign near her bedside lamp that said, “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” I know she is feeling the sunshine she shared with all of us.

Weed loved doing things for people to celebrate them. Just before our first baby was born, my husband and I moved back up north to Salt Lake, which was pretty tough for me. For my birthday several months later I decided I wanted to go camping and invited Weed’s family and Jay who all lived up north too. We camped at Deseret Peak out past Tooele. Weed came with little Kaebri and Tasia even though Derek wasn’t able to, packing up their tent and all their gear. Not only did she come, but she made me a fancy version of my favorite cake and brought a cooler full of ice cream packed with dry ice so I could have cake and ice cream to celebrate my birthday. Camping with small kids is seriously hard work. Yet here is Weed, bringing her two little ones, just to help make my day special. She did that kind of thing for everyone.   Just last year at Lou’s 40th birthday party Weed showed up with the most gorgeous lemon layer cake and cupcakes, made with real lemons and decorated with raspberries and mint leaves that she had spent the entire day making. You’re lucky I wasn’t in charge of dessert that night, Lou.

Probably the story from our childhood that Weed and I laugh about the most was when we were about 7 and 8 years old. We had a friend over, but she wasn’t playing the way we wanted and we were getting bugged. When she threw our Fisher Price cash register across the room it was the final straw. We shoved her down the hall and locked her in “the dungeon,” an old cellar with a cement floor, ceiling and walls (that Jay slept in). My mom heard her yells and came to her rescue, grounding Weed and I for the first and only time in our lives. We were not allowed to play with friends for a whole week. We pretended we felt punished but were really laughing behind mom’s back thinking it wasn’t a punishment at all since we were best friends and preferred playing with each other over other friends anyway. We always felt that way about our siblings. They were our best friends.   Since then, things have changed and not changed. Weed remained my best friend. No matter how lonely I was when I moved to a new place and had no friends, I knew I could call Weed and tell her about it and laugh with her. I hope I was always there for her too when she needed a friend.   But we have also added friends to our circles, friends who are like family and who have been there for each of us when we needed them. Friends who will miss Weed the way I will miss her.

When we would paint each other’s nails as kids I could never understand why Weed’s nails were always dirty underneath even when mine weren’t (didn’t we do all the same things?).   Surprisingly, as we grew up that never changed. She could wash a kitchen full of dishes and still have dirt under her nails. We used to laugh and laugh about it. When we went to help prepare her prettiness for the funeral Derek and I noticed that there was dirt under her nails which just seemed so fitting and made us both laugh. A lot has been said, and will be said, about Weed’s perfections. She had her imperfections too and they helped us love her. Sometimes it is our imperfections that make us perfect.

Weed’s world was Derek and their kids and she was their world. On Monday I had the special experience of sitting in on a family home evening with Derek and the kids as they worked on Lenae’s obituary, trying to put into words who she was to them. It’s been difficult for all of us who loved her (husband, children, family and friends) to find the words to describe her. As I lay awake a few mornings ago, the words of Corinthians came into my mind as the perfect descriptions of how she lived.

1 Corinthians 13

4. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8. Charity never faileth.

Weed was charity. We miss her so much.

10. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

12. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

We look forward to the day when we will again see her face to face.

Catching up on the gap

There's been so much happening since Weed's passing. I have really gotten behind on things.  This is going to be a rather jumbled, and hurried attempt to catch up and get back on track.  I guess we are all struggling to get life "back on track" since losing her.  Life will never be quite the same without her, but we will press forward with steadfast faith and hope and peace.  So here's what life has brought us since then in a nutshell.

Derek and Kids - General Conference day fun!  

Lots of meals were consumed at our house and some at the kid's houses.  It was good to gather and take comfort from each other.

The first time we just got out to get away and decompress on a little hike to T-Bone Mesa. Sunshine and rocks are healing.

Getting out in nature has always been healing for all of us.  We took Lance and the kids up to find the otter carving on the Red Hill.  Juge stayed home with ZP to take a nap.

Sweet Sarai was down for a visit with her family and ended up breaking two fingers in a spinning office chair incident at a friends house.  She ended up in a purple cast and is expected to make a full recovery.  Here's some time at our house recovering with the aid of Mom and a giant "bum" strawberry!

Mother's Days!

I am so behind that I'm just going to start here and then work backwards!  It have been having and extended Mother's Day and have enjoyed a lot of fun things in the process.  We were hoping to take Paul's mom out for a cookout Thursday evening, but she didn't like the look of the weather.  So we decided to do something ourselves and save the cook out for a better weather day.  We went to Zion right after school and watched the new National Parks IMAX movie they are showing.  It wasn't the best, but we had been wanting to see it.  After that we headed into the park and rode the shuttle up to the end of the line at the Temple of Sinewava.  We exited and with only and 70 minutes until the last shuttle back we made a quick trip up to Riverside Walk trail to the Narrows.  It was beautiful and not crowded at all.  The weather was wonderful with a hint of rain in the air.  We enjoyed to walk and made it back in time for our ride out. After that we hurried into town for dinner at Oscar's.  We have been wanting to try that place and we weren't disappointed.  We even got to use our Dixie Direct Card for a discount.  It was a wonderful evening!  I saw this quote inside the shuttle on a sign and loved it  - "Wilderness is not a luxury, but a necessity for the human spirit!"  (Edward Abbey)

The next part of my celebration was another change of plans.  We had hoped to go camping Friday evening to get out of town from the Iron Man, but the weather was non conducive at all.  Instead we opted for a last minute date to see the Jungle Book.  So good!  And then we ate dinner and chilled in front to the TV watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure in remembrance of my Wood Badge skit!  Inane, but enjoyable.  The next day we decided we could at least do the hike part of our plans and set out to do so.  And then the weather was again a factor, so we just went wherever looked good to us and never did do our original plan.  We had a great day and went to a lot of overlooks that we hadn't been to before.  We did start out at a little geological trail that I found when I took a wrong turn coming home from Wood Badge.  It was interesting.  Next we visited one of the Quail Creek overlook trails - very lovely.  Lots of beautiful views, rocks and desert plants.  Then we headed to our  original plan.  It looked very sketchy weatherwise, so we decided to check out Molly's Nipple.  We have never done it in all the years we've been here and have wanted to.  So we did.  The road got a bit too much for our little truck, so we wound up hiking quite a ways, but we were rewarded with more awesome views there.  After eating lunch on top we saw the weather heading our way and made a quick hike back to the truck just in time to beat the rain.  Then we checked out Falls Park and then La Verkin Overlook.  All really nice!

We got home, ate dinner and then I was surprised when the local kids and their families came over bearing Crowshaw pies, ice cream and presents!  We were celebrating Mother's Day yet again!  We only missed Juge, Lou and Jay and families (got to talk to them on the phone), but they helped send the presents.  Love my new day pack, gift cards for dinner and pedicure, waterproof jacket, and Beacher even brought a beautiful, heavenly smelling lei from Hawaii.  It was such a fun little gathering. Brenden even did card tricks.  So glad that Derek and kids felt like joining us too.  So blessed to have wonderful children.  My quiver is full and my heart too.Thanks to all for such a fun and tasty celebration!

Today, the real Mother's Day, Paul made me a delicious breakfast and wrote me a sweet letter.  After church we had Grandma Kurtz come over to eat and celebrate.  I got to visit with my mom earlier in the week.  I had sent her an early Mother's Day quite a while ago.  Happy Mother's Day!  Only one missing was Weed.  We miss her so much, but feel peace in our knowledge that we will have joy with her yet again. (Grandma K.  seemed pleased with her popcorn variety pack and flowers.)

Looking back...final days with our sweet Weed and memories not to forget

I am so behind.  So much has happened.  It's hard to know where to begin.  I will start here and then go on.

I kept trying to find time to write down what I was remembering before I forgot it all.  I finally found a quiet time and here’s what I remember.  I know I left out a time when we visited Derek and the kids. I think it was the Friday after Weed’s passing earlier in the day before we went to the temple, but honestly, it is all such a blur I can’t remember details of that time, so I will just have to leave it at this.

The Borrowmans hosted the family dinner on March 6^th.  We had good food and good times as always.  Supe and Beacher were here!  So glad they have moved back from Oregon.  Since we hadn’t really done it yet, we did Ferf and Weed’s birthdays with the traditional song and blow out pictures.  I had Weed take pictures for me since I’m terrible at phone pictures and I think my camera either wasn’t there or was acting up.  Since I am writing this after the fact I can say that Weed texted me those pictures just a few days before she died…my last text from her, helping me out like she always helped everyone out.  I had gotten her a present sent directly to her house the day after her b-day, but her life was just too busy right then to take time to celebrate, so she hadn’t “officially” been sung to or had cake.  She did call me up so excited about the toe socks we had sent and did get a chance to at least wear them a few times.  I think she handed the camera off to Kaebri to take the shot of her blowing out her candles for her final birthday here with us, #36.  Derek had teased her on her birthday that he couldn’t see how he could put 39 number 39s around the house!  Guess it took her a minute and then she gave it back to him reminding him that she was ONLY 36!  So, this was her last birthday celebration here with us.  You just never know what’s coming up in Heavenly Father’s plan.  As Paul has said, the plan is feeling pretty crumby right now, but we just don’t know everything there is to know.  Thanks for the pics Weed.  So glad there was at least one of you. 

Up - Weed    Down - Ferf

Weed always tried to make it to the family dinners.  It probably wasn't the best time for her because of all of the noise and not being able to hear much of what was being said, but she came, enjoyed and helped all she could to make it a fun time.  This is our last one with her and everyone except the Randalls was in attendance, even Bean.  

Our Spring Break didn’t turn out at all how we expected in so many ways.  Our first thing to do to celebrate time off school was to go to Ash Fork for on a rock trip.  As usual we enjoyed stops at Jacob Lake.  We got some REALLY big rocks and it was so interesting to see how they managed to load them up.  Then to add a little extra  to the trip we took the turn off to Lee’s Ferry on the way back and spent  some time there enjoying the scenery and stretching our legs on a little hike to see some historic sites.  Then it was back to the journey.  I always enjoy those trips!

Ashfork and A BIG ROCK

Lee's Ferry and the Colorado River

Later in the week the Randalls came down for the afternoon and we took the little Brookside to Baker Lake hike with them.  It was pretty and we had a good time enjoying the waterfalls and other scenery.  We invited the Borrowmans and the Smiths, but they both had other plans that day unfortunately. 

We had hoped to get out of town again later in the week, but the water wars struck and we found lots of damage from a leaky shower had ruined a lot of stuff below it in the basement.  We ended up just not being able to get away and staying in town because of working on that and things at work that just wouldn’t let us leave.  It ended up being a good thing that we didn’t get out of town. 

Thursday, March 10^th, Weed called, if I remember right, to ask if they could stop by later to drop off some soda bottles that Paul was collecting for a Wood Badge project.  They did end up stopping by and brought a full bottle of diet Pepsi and some Mentos to share a science experiment with us.  We went outside to do it and Derek dropped the Mentos into the pop and it shot out like a fountain nearly drenching him.  This is such a fun experiment for kids!  They just love it.  We all laughed and had a good time.  They showed us their latest “family picture” that they had taken before they stopped by.  They had been up exploring by the Dixie Rock having fun times and taking silly pictures.  This one was actually really cute and I said I wanted it for an updated family picture.  Weed said her hair didn’t look very nice.

March 10, final family picture at the Red Hill, St. George, Utah

I had to leave before they did for a chiropractor appointment.  I hated leaving.  I just wanted to stay and visit until they left.  I wish I had. This was the last time we saw Weed alive.  They left after a while and went over to hike one of Paul’s latest projects – the Sons of the Utah Pioneers project – the Red Rock Quarry Trail.  After that I think they went home to drop off the kids and Weed and Derek went out to go 4-wheeling behind Bloomington.  Later that night, I can’t remember what time, but it was after dark I think, Derek called in a panic saying that Weed had been in an accident while they were 4-wheeling and that he was so sorry.  He just kept saying that.  And he said she had no respiration or pulse and explained how he had been doing CPR until the medics got there.  The Life Flight helicopter was also there.  He said he would call back.  Paul and I quickly called everyone to pray for her and then a few minutes after that Derek called back sobbing to say she was gone.  I really wanted to go out there, but by that time the police had the road blocked off and before when he called they thought they were going to life flight her out so there would be no reason to go there because she wouldn’t be there.  After the final call, Derek had to talk to the police, so his sister was kept us informed about what was going on until they finally came to take her body away. (Derek had called his sis and brother to come out and take the 4-wheelers away since he thought he would be leaving with the helicopter.)  It was a long time and I felt so terrible thinking of our pretty Weed lying out there in the dirt, broken and dead in the dark.  Karissa stayed by her and said they were very respectful of her.  Such a horrific end to a beautiful life and day spent enjoying time with her family. Derek said she was really enjoying the ride and told him she really wanted to go fast on the way back to the truck and said she would just meet him there.  Another couple was out there and they saw her go off the road.  When Derek came up they asked him if he was riding with someone and told him there had been an accident and he ran down.  She had gone too fast around a curve and the 4-wheeler had rolled on top of her crushing her. Derek said the 4-wheeler just felt so light as he threw it off of her.  She did have a helmet that saved her head from much trauma.  She was very broken up from the sound of it.  Derek and the other guy did CPR until the help arrived and they took over, but she was gone.  Oh how sorry we are to lose our sweet Weed.  Words cannot begin to express the loss we feel.  It is just so very hard to bear.  We are so glad we got to spend that few happy minutes with her and the family that day.  It is a sweet final memory of her. 

We spent the next several days trying to get things put together for her funeral…all of us feeling in a daze, but with the Bishop and Bryan’s help things moved along to the desired end.  Paul, me, Moss/Christie, Jay/Brynn, Juge, Supe/Beacher, Ferf/Ryan, Lou and Grandma Kurtz all decided to go to the temple to do sealings on Friday evening.  It was a special time.  It felt very good to be there.  Afterwards we gathered in one of the sealing rooms off the celestial room to talk.  It was a good thing to do. We also came home (I think) and had a visit from two members of the Stake presidency and then the men gave priesthood blessings to the women and each other.  It was very comforting except for Paul’s blessing that seemed to point to many hard times ahead, but with the promised that if he would seek the Lord, he would be there to help.   Sunday we celebrated sweet Sarai’s 5^th birthday.

As things progressed we had so many people doing kind things for all of us.  People brought food, flowers, cards, donated money to the GoFundMe account, just handed us cash in cards and just put it in our hands.  People who were needed to help with tasks that seemed impossible just showed up and got things done.  Everyone wanted to do something for Weed and her family in any way they could.  Our final private moments with Weed were on Wednesday night if I recall correctly.  Derek went up to the funeral home in Cedar and helped Bryan with the final dressing and then all of the sisters, Brynn, me, Grandma Kurtz, Sheryl and a caring friend of Juge’s went over to help put on her make-up, paint her nails and comb her hair.  Derek was very at peace and seemed so pleased to have us help.  It was hard to see her so pale and her leg twisted, but Ferf took the first step forward and the process of making Weed her pretty self again began.  It was so sweet to be there with her.  Of course we knew it was just her body, but we felt her there with us.  Juge’s friend was so nice and helped in such a quiet, capable way.  We all talked and kept trying different things until Derek pronounced it good.  Then Paul and the brothers, sons-in-law and Christie and Beacher came down to join us.  I just wanted to pat her hand, cold though it was, smooth her hair and tuck her in with the little quilt they had there. My poor broken baby.   After the final touches some of the men helped Bryan lift her into the coffin that Bryan helped Derek pick out.  It was a very simple pine box, simple but elegant – like our Weed.  Derek shared how he had found letters from Weed telling of her wishes if she were to die.  There were letters for him and for the kids and a letter of her wishes for a simple, happy funeral.  She had prepared those letters several months earlier when she was anticipating having a surgery on her ears.  She hadn’t told anyone else how serious it was and that it could have been fatal.  It was one more of the many tender mercies that have come through all of this.  She didn’t end up being eligible for the surgery after all.  We had a prayer and headed down the long, dark road back to St. George.  It was a sweet time with Weed and each other and I’m so glad that Bryan suggested it.

With heaven’s help and the help of so many wonderful people, the Friday evening viewing came off.  It was so huge that we stayed much longer than planned.  They said there were over a thousand people there.  It was a lovely time to try to help comfort them and be comforted by them.  Derek and the kids did so well. 

Poor little Trigg.  How do you tell a mere baby that his mommy is gone.  He just kept going up to touch her hand...so happy to see her after her being "at the hospital" for so long.  Oh how it makes your heart ache for these children.  My sister took these pics and titled this one, "The last goodbye."

Brynn, Jay, Moss and Christie were able to collect things from Derek and lots of people and put together a display of so many of Weeds works of art.  She worked so hard to develop her talent and shared it with so many people.  Her talent with art was great, but it wasn’t her greatest gift.  Her greatest gift was a heart full of charity.

The center portrait was painted by a friend who said he couldn't afford to contribute money to help, but he did this painting as a gift of love for Derek and the kids.  

Portrait of Weed and Derek from their art teacher for a wedding gift and a portrait of Grandpa Rogers that was a gift to Grandma from Weed.

The center portraits of Abraham Lincoln were done by Derek and Weed in an art class.  It was actually the beginning of their relationship as they worked on these drawings while "checking each other out!

Saturday morning, March 26^th, was the funeral.  We ended up moving it to a bigger building because their small chapel could not have accommodated the large crowds on Friday or Saturday.  It was a beautiful celebration of her life in music and word.  Wonderful people shared their talents to help the music happen and Juge, Supe, Paul, the bishop and stake president shared comforting, loving words.  It was a perfect celebration of our sweet Lenae.

At the graveside LaTressa sang with the voice of an angel and her guitar and Derek dedicated the grave.  It feels so strange and sad to think of our pretty Weed’s body deep in the ground, but we have joy knowing that her sweet spirit lives on and is in such a wonderful place where she’s meeting a group of people who love her and are welcoming her there and making her comfortable.  Oh Weed, we can’t begin to understand why it was time for you to leave, but we trust that our loving, all knowing Father in Heaven does know and we will do our best to press forward in faith trusting Him and looking forward to that bright day when we will rejoice to be together again.  We will look for you in so many places until that day.  Bye bye for now Weed.  We love you.

The ever serving RS sisters of Weed’s ward and another one prepared and served a wonderful meal to all of the large gathering of family/friends after the funeral.  As it always is at these times, it was wonderful to see and share comfort with and from so many friends and family that we don’t see often.  I’m sure some kind of similar gathering of welcome must take place on the other side.

Beacher and Zade! 

We had the gang all here as well as Latressa and kids for a Friday evening hot dog cook out and egg hunt.  We had a fun time just enjoying the comfort of being together.  Juge, Lance and family stayed over for the week end which was a comfort again.

On Sunday Derek and the kids attended their ward where the sacrament bread passed that day was some that Lenae had made and shared with some friends.  They returned it and I’m not sure who suggested it, but it was very special when the bishop announced it was her bread after the sacrament had been passed.  Juge/Lance, Jay/Brynn and families and Paul and I attended Moss and Christie’s ward where they gave perfect Easter talks and then Moss gave the Sunday school lesson.  After that Paul and I attended Sunday school and Relief Society/Priesthood meetings at our ward.  The day felt like the Easter amen and final good bye to Weed from our lives here.  We know she will visit and we will feel her presence and we will remember her dearly and try to follow her example of kindness, love and service to others.  It hurts so much, but we feel heaven’s blessings by way of so many kind people and through the peace of the Spirit.  I hope I can remember the love I feel right now and keep on looking for ways to help others who have struggles to feel it too.

Here are Tasia’s before and after braces pictures.  She got her braces off just a few days after Weed’s passing.  At first we were going to cancel the appointment.  There seemed to be so much to do, but Derek said that she had been looking forward to surprising everyone and he wanted her to be able to go ahead with it.  It was one of those things that Weed would have taken her to if she had been here and she would have been so excited with Tasia to surprise everyone.  It has been a long process, but has turned out so beautifully!  So happy Derek made sure she got to go as expected.  He will be the one doing these things with the kids now.  I’m so glad it happened on schedule.

PS - It has now been 6 months (September 2016) and I found this poem that really expresses how it feels as time passes.

Grief

By Gwen Flowers

I had my own notion of grief.

I thought it was a sad time

That followed the death of someone you love.

And you had to push through it

To get to the other side.

But I’m learning there is no other side.

There is no pushing through.

But rather,

There is absorption.

Adjustment.

Acceptance.

And grief is not something that you complete.

But rather you endure.

Grief is not a task to finish,

And move on,

But an element of yourself—

An alteration of your being.

A new way of seeing,

A new definition of self.

A Blue and Gold February

Had a really fun month visiting all of the Blue and Gold banquets of the packs in our stake last month.  Every one was different and every one was great!  Love seeing these dedicated leaders do a great job and seeing the boys so proud of earning their awards.  It takes some great people to make Cub Scouting happen!  Wild and noisy little boys aren't everyone's favorite to work with, but the pay offs are worth the effort when you see them learning things that will help to make them better people all of their lives.  

One of my favorite things was the wanted posters that one pack did.  The boys were "wanted" for living points of the Scout Law.  They each got to take their big poster and the small table decoration poster home with them.  In one ward each den had to come up with a Haka dance.  One den did the Scout Law.  It was awesome...too bad my camera died before then.

Congrats to Brady - Arrow of Light

It was so nice to attend Brady's Arrow of Light/Blue and Gold Banquet!  Lou is the cub master and she and her staff did an amazing job of making a fun and tasty evening to celebrate Scouting and their boy's advancements!  Brady has worked hard and enjoyed his Cub Scout years with the full support of his parents.  He also got the Cub Scout of the year award in his Scout district. We're proud of you Brady!