This year it was hard for me to decide how I would remember Weed on her birthday. I didn't want to step on Derek's toes or cause awkwardness for Colony, so I just kind of put off asking about it at all. Then when Derek said they did want to do something, I wanted to leave it to him to decide what would be comfortable for them and go with that. So, it ended up being a little last minute, but I felt like it happened how they wanted it to and that was good. We got together on the 23rd and had pizza, potluck and party with the Smiths and the Lillywhites who were in town for it. We missed Supe and Beacher and Jay and Brynn and girls. Shanna Bundy and her husband, who have been a huge support to Derek and kids, stopped in for a few minutes too. I could have enjoyed the whole thing more if I hadn't felt so much stress about trying the please/meet everyone's expectations. This is a hard day and people have their own ideas of how it should be spent. Derek did a good job of putting things together last minute style. He had thought it would be nice to go out to dinner at the Pizza Factory and invite us to go. Then everyone wanted to get on board. Since it was a little late, we couldn't get their banquet room, so we reserved the church and had the party there. Pizza Factory pizza was Weed's favorite (she worked there as a teenager). When the bosses there heard Derek was buying all of this pizza to celebrate her birthday, they wanted to do something nice. They remembered her as the sweet person she was when she worked for them. They were very generous in giving Derek a great discount plus threw in salad, dressing, bread sticks, plates and napkins. The rest of us brought sides to go with it. We had plenty of yummy food for everyone.
For me personally I thought some temple time with family would be a nice way to celebrate. Paul and I did go and do some son/daughter sealings the week before and I tried to focus on Weed and think about how because of these covenants we can be a family forever...Weed will always be our daughter. It was a nice evening. We also went to the temple on the 22nd with our YSA Ward and I had hoped it would be a special night somehow, but between my expectations, attitude and maybe some help from Satan, it wasn't quite what I had hoped for. I remember that after Weed passed I seemed to feel her near/think of her when I would be in the car alone on the way home from work sometimes. I tried to have a time like that and it was nice.
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We were able to have one of Weed's cute sketches put on a cake! |
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| Besides eating and visiting we played a few games and had fun! |
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| Brynn added a crown and #38 to one of Weed's little people and we printed up 38 of them for the kids to hunt for Smith birthday family tradition style. |
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Still kicking myself for forgetting to get everyone together for a group shot. At the last minute I rounded up Zade and Kaebri for a shot with the 38 little Weeds the kids hunted for. I'll do better next year I hope! |
On our way home afterward we stopped by the grave and put flowers there. Weed's friend, Karma, had already been there and left a nice little birthday remembrance. It was very sweet.
Derek's sister, Karissa, posted on FB in remembrance of Weed...such a sweet tribute:
"Today is Lenae's birthday! Oh, how I miss her smiles, the texts with a joke or a picture of how she embarrassed her kids, or way I could embarrass my teenagers! I miss seeing what she would dress up as for Halloween. I miss seeing her in the corner with my husband at family get togethers because they both couldn't hear because the kids (and adults) were so loud. I miss that I could ask her to add sleeves to my daughter's dress for a dance and know it would look tons better than I could do! i just miss her!!!! Happy Birthday in heaven Lenae!"
On the heels of her birthday this coming Saturday, March 10th, will be the anniversary of Weed's death. Paul and I will be headed out of town for a trip that day and I know it will be a crazy day. But here and now I will just say that losing Weed has been the hardest thing in my life so far. When I think of the many things she's missing I feel so sad, but when I think of all the wonderful things I know she must be involved in where she is now it comforts me as much as I can be comforted. I feel sad that she is missing watching her children, that she suffered so much to bring into the world, growing up and having the joy of grand children and growing old watching good things happen in their lives. I'm not sad that I didn't have to watch her go deaf and suffer through that. I think she was just so good that she could leave early. I think she's fine, but I wonder if she gets to take a peek and see her kids sometimes and help them along. I hate that Trigg, and maybe even Zade, probably won't remember he much. I could go on and on, but instead I will just trust in Heavenly Father and know that everything will work to the good in the end. Miss you Weed. Hope heaven is going great for you!
